My Manias

When I’m manic, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve yelled at people in public. The “rude” (according to me) receptionist at my doctor’s office who’s already lost my records twice and doesn’t care that I’ve been waiting for 45 minutes. The “asshole” at the business tax department who wasted 4 hours of my life because she couldn’t fill out forms properly, even the “sour-faced c-word” who acted like I ruined her day by asking her what aisle the dish drainers are on.

And I can’t even count on my fingers the number of times I’ve thrown my cell phone across the room while being hung up on for the 5th time after asking to speak to the Sheila, the phone operator’s supervisor and asking Sheila what her last name and ID number is. Thanks USPS, Comcast, Sony, 1and1, Zingotel, Vonage, AT&T, CapitalOne, and on and on and on.

Some of the symptoms of mania are: anger, rage, irritability and highly vocal arguments. Yep, that sounds like me.

I’ve often been told that I tend to act this way (I know I do) and I should just “calm down, it’s not going to do any good.”

Well, I know it doesn’t always help me, unless you count getting 10,000 worth of free Delta Skymiles, a $100 Sony gift certificate, excused out of a T-Mobile 2-year contract after 6 months, 2 free tickets to Universal Orlando, or 3 free months of Vonage. I’ve gotten rewarded for this persistence. And if I’m manic and not irritable, I’m both resourceful and charming, making jokes with customer service operators on the phone and socially engineering them into giving me free stuff.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying mania is a good thing, and it does stress me (and everyone around me) out, but it can get the job done sometimes.

My friends say, when they need to sick someone on a company that’s screwed them over, they should have me do it. I even thought about creating a business, offering that kind of service for people. Another one of my supposedly brilliant manic business ideas.

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